Hello, my name is CQ and I need help...You see, I'm totally obsessed with Formula One and Ferrari...As I said before, I need help...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Childhood

Hello all!!

I'm not really sure as to why I'm up blogging at 2:02am, considering that I have to get my arse out of bed at 6:15am to be on time for my first-aid course at 8:30am, but anyhoos, I was tossing in bed, and was thinking of all things dumb and useless, and then I thought of one of the better periods of my life...my childhood...I'm just reminiscing, so let me just rave on about it yeah...

Firstly, I must tell you...being an only child has its perks!! Ooh...I was so loved and adored by all, and I had soooo many toys...I think when you are a first child, parents are kinda scared that you might not really like them too...and so they bribe you with toys...thats my theory anyways...Well, I'm not complaining, coz I had plenty of them...

Lets see, I had my pink panther whom I totally doted on, until I puked on him...Damn!! I totally isolated the poor thing after that...I refused to touch him...so I got another identical panther...But it just wasn't the same...how I wish I still had them though...Then I had my driving simulator thingy...which is like a dashboard and you had to navigate the car through signals and all...Very cool!! Weirdly enough, my favourite toy was a tea trolley set...don't really know what that says about me...

The only regret I have about my childhood is probably that I didn't enjoy it enough...I think I grew up too fast...I don't remember enough of it to put on paper, except for snippets from here and there...

I remember telling my parents that if they even thought of getting another baby home "I'll throw IT out of the window when you'll are sleeping"...yeah...those were my exact words...I remember being locked alone at home by my mum for the first time when I was 6...damn!! I brought the house down with my crying/yelling...I remember lighting a matchstick for the first time and then freaking out coz I thought I'd burn down the house...I remember dad being worried sick coz I had not come home after school when I was 5 (I had fallen asleep on the last seat of the bus...took a while for the bus driver to find me)...I remember being the teacher's pet, the soldiers stationed outside our house and the cockroach infested ship we had to take to travel from Iraq to Dubai during the Gulf war...I remember mum being totally unimpressed when my grades were not good enough, I remember seeing my first snake in our courtyard...

Things I don't remember, but have heard from family...My second cousin seemingly took me out with him when I got lost in the crowd...Supposedly when he did find me, I denied knowing him!! Hahaha...I think thats so funny!! Mum says that when I was younger and I saw something I wanted in a shop, I wouldn't budge till I got it...she reckons that that habit has still not gone away!!

Besides that...well, I don't remember much...I think its quite sad when all of your childhood can be summarized in one blog post...I think my teenage years sucked and I don't really know what to file my current growth period under...I feel that all that potential that I had when I was a child was just wasted...years just gone by without doing anything worthwhile. I used to be so good at everything...now I just stuff up everything I attempt...I feel depressed now...Great, ain't it?? I'm so over everything at this point in time...I want to be small again...loved and looked after...without worrying about life and what shit it has in store for me tomorrow...

Fuck!! Alright then...I feel like crap now...Goodbye people...I'm so totally over life and all its crap...I don't think life has anything worthwhile to offer me and vice versa...*sigh*...think its time I hit my pillows...time is 2:28am.

4 Comments:

Blogger Leenz said...

yeh, childhood is my most cherished moment in my life. i feel sorry for ppl who didn't get to enjoy it cos they were too busy trying to grow up too fast...
on another note, r u alrite? my advice to u:
-don't dwell so much on things u have no control over
-don't look so far ahead, take it one step at a time
-STOP putting sooo much pressure on yourself

u have amazing potential girl, and u'll get there in ur own sweet time, whether its tomorrow or nxt wk, nxt mth, nxt year, woteva. And remember, u always have us to fall back on in case u need that extra support :0)

CHEER UP!!!!!

Sun Apr 30, 08:26:00 PM

 
Blogger ferrarista said...

Awww...thanks Leenz!! I appreciate all your support and encouragement...I am alright...more or less...I've just been freaking out a lot lately...and with that has come the feelings of inadequacy and lost potential...I just don't feel good enough about myself, I guess...anyhoos, I think I'm twilight zoning it at the moment, but yeah...I know I can count on your shoulder to cry on/bitch abt things...Thanks heaps for being there for me!

And yeah, I definitely wish that I'd enjoyed my childhood a bit more...It just went by so quickly...I know for a fact that I wasn't in a huge hurry to grow up...Weird as it sounds, I just don't think my childhood wanted much of me in it...

Arrivederci

Sun Apr 30, 09:22:00 PM

 
Blogger pj said...

u know, i wish the same things too. except.. i was a total nightmare as a kid and that is prolly one of the things that is keeping me from even thinking about having kids later in life.

i do cherish my childhood, but maaan. I have no idea how my parents even got through it, they must've been stoned or something, because I was an absolute horror as a child.

wait. now u've stimulate my blogging instinct. now i wanna blog about my childhood!

whahahahh... thanks chris for your lovely idea! excellent!

Mon May 01, 11:29:00 AM

 
Blogger ferrarista said...

PJ: Hahaha!! Glad to know that I was of some use!! Looking forward to your childhood blog...

In the meantime, take care!

Mon May 01, 03:47:00 PM

 

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