OCD?

Hello all!!

I was having a conversation with a friend in the recent past, when she mentioned that she thought that she had OCD...Well, that actually got me thinking...I've always thought that I was a bit different, but now I've come to the conclusion that maybe I can blame it all on OCD...Or maybe, I'm AM just plain weird...you decide...

My reasons for believing that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder:

1) When I was younger, around 7 years old, I had this phase which lasted for quite some time...It was my full "can't-get-feet-dirty-they-must-be-spotless" phase...See...in hindsight, I think that is just abnormal for a 7 year old kid...Like seriously, which kid wants to stay clean??!! NONE!! Me on the other hand had to be different, and so every time my feet got dirty from playing or whatever, I would leave the game halfway through, go wash my feet and come out to play again...Don't think that did favours for my popularity...*sigh* I sure had issues to deal with then!! Not really sure that all of them have gone away now that I've grown up either!!

2) My magic numbers- Right, now this might sound weird to all you normal people out there, but I brush my teeth in 54 strokes...54 strokes while brushing my teeth on the right (inside and outside), 54 on the left...upper and lower jaw...well, you get the idea...You see, 54 is my magic number when it comes to brushing...It can't be 53...or 55 for that matter!!! They just don't feel "right"...I also have another magic number, viz 5...I use it whenever it feels "right"...

3) Cracks- Now whenever I think of this, I think of Monk...you know, the obsessive-compulsive TV detective guy...he has serious problems with road cracks and the like...I don't have as many issues as he does, except when it comes to the pathway between uni and my student housing...You see, this pathway is nice and winding, and its made of cement/concrete...It was nice and smooth until they decided to spoil it by dividing the entire road into "sections"...So now whenever I cross these sections, and I can actually be bothered noticing them, I find that I can't step on them...I actually pace my steps so that I either start my step before the "line" and cross from zone 1 into zone 2, but never step on the forbidden dividing line itself...

After writing this blog, I'm actually contemplating whether I should really publish it or not...Thing is, I spent precious time writing this, but I don't want to be a loner coz people think that I'm weird...Not like too many people visit my blog anyways, but that's not the point...Continue being my friends, ok?? :(

I'm not weird...just different...

Arrivederci!

Why does writing a thesis have to be so difficult?

Hello all!!

Its amazing as to how my words just flow when I'm blogging, but seem to run headfirst into a brick wall when I try to start writing my thesis...I've been sitting down in front of my computer with the intention of starting on my masterpiece for ages now, but every single time, I run into starting problems...

Like seriously, how do you start writing a damn thesis...? Where do you start? (The intro seems an obvious choice, but its too thought provoking!!). And, do I have to be "in the mood" for writing my thesis? I mean, this is IT...this is my final piece of work which is supposed to prove that I'm a worthy graduate...So, what if all that I'm writing, is in actual fact, just crap!! I haven't started writing it yet, but I really want to, coz with every day that goes by, I feel more and more pressured and I think the time when I start hyperventilating and have frequent panic attacks is not too far off...I'm so scared :(

Besides that, well, self-doubt is creeping in...When I first joined uni, I had all these dreams of achieving fame and grandeur...now I'm afraid that those were only illusions...I feel like I'm lost and trying to find my way home through thick fog, not knowing when I'm going fall into a crevice and die...Am being a bit melodramatic, but hell, I don't care!!

Anyhoos, coming back to my thesis, I've satisfied myself so far by opening up a new Word document and setting my page margins, paragraph justification and line spacing...But that first word is still reluctant to be put on paper...

*sigh* I really, really want to do this right...I just don't know how or where to begin...

Hopefully all this rambling on will help me get a deeper insight into getting this document done and over with...Wish me luck!! I think I'm gonna need heaps of it!! Say a small prayer for me while you're at it...I've already said one for myself...

Ciao!